Woman In The Mirror

Michael Jackson’s iconic song, “Man in the Mirror” has these powerful lyrics:

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place.
Take a look at yourself and then make a CHANGE”.

WOW!!! Very simple, isn’t it? If you want to change the world; you have to start with “you”. And if you’re like me, you probably have pondered, “What’s my purpose in life? What’s my calling?”  I believe that each and one of us are capable of doing extraordinary things; the question is “what”, right?

When I was married I always felt trapped. I knew that I was missing “something”; but, I wasn’t sure what it was. At that time, I thought I had everything: a husband, three kids, a house, cars, a boat, dirt bikes, etc. But, I was missing “ME”. Sure, I was somebody’s wife, somebody’s mother, I was in charge of the household, I was an active PTA member, baseball mom, soccer mom, and I coordinated the yearly talent shows at my kids’ school; yet, I always told myself, “My purpose in life has to be greater than this!”

I didn’t begin to discover exactly who I am, until I was stripped down to NOTHING during my divorce at age 34. Javier (my ex-husband) left me in the street! Literally! I’m not exaggerating! Since Javier managed to file a restraining order against me, I was not able to go back to our family home ever again! He took me out of our bank accounts; so I had no money and I didn’t have a job. I wasn’t able to contact, call, or see my kids. Javier even went to my kids school (somewhere he’d never been) to turn in a copy of the restraining order just to embarrass me! I used to be at that school almost every day taking pictures of the kids for their yearbook. And since Javier gave the school a copy of the restraining order, I couldn’t visit my kids’ school anymore.  On top of that, I was facing “possible” criminal charges due to Javier’s lies! What an asshole, huh?

But in the midst of all that turmoil, there were people in my neighborhood who took it upon themselves to make a “CHANGE”.  At the time I lived in a small town; so, the news that the “talent show coordinator” at Harada Elementary had been detained and taken into custody for “beating the shit out of her husband (a cop) with ‘one’ punch” (ßHow stupid my ex-husband is) spread like wild fire!

My friend Wendy and her husband were the first ones to step in by bailing me out of jail; and then by opening their home to my kids and me until my divorce was final. My friend Kelli sent her husband Chris (someone who I’ve never meet before) to help my uncle and I move me out of the family residence. Every single time I saw Chris taking a break, I thought, “Wow! This dude is working so hard moving my furniture and boxes, and he doesn’t even know me!” I had many of the ladies from my neighborhood; that stopped by to drop off “money”. Some of them did that, out of their “own” pocket without telling their husbands! I just couldn’t believe how a “community” came together to make a “CHANGE”.  I think that what Javier did to our family was very evil; but, the situation that he created brought so many good people together!

Since I didn’t have kids for a few months due to the court orders, I had no other choice than to “focus” on myself, something I’ve never done before, until that time. From 2008 to 2009, I asked myself almost every single day the same questions, “Who am I?” and “What makes me happy?” At first, I didn’t have answers for either question! How sad is that?

It wasn’t until the end of 2011, when I met a cute guy and on our first and “only” date, he told me that I should read, “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz. On a side note: when someone tells you that you should read a specific book, please take it as a sign that God or the Universe or any higher power you believe in; is actually talking directly to you! Most likely you’re ready to receive a blessing from the material you’re about to discover. I know this because that’s exactly what happened to me when I read “The Mastery of Love” and other books since. And just in case you were wondering, I never heard from the cute guy who told me to read this book. He was just the “divine” messenger 😉

A quote from the book reads, “You are what you are; you don’t need to pretend to be something else.” and “When you pretend to be what you are not; you are always going to fail.” Wow! Tears were rolling down my cheeks when I read this! Because for thirty something years of my life, I “pretended” to be someone who was not me! Ugh! What a waste of my life! (I was so pissed off!) LOL!

From that moment on, the constant search to find an answer to the question “Who am I?” was over!  I am: a fighter, a reformer, an optimist, a visionary, a dreamer, an innovator, an artist, a very outspoken woman, who stands for Freedom, Truth, and Justice! Plus I’m very “entertaining” too! Hahahaha! 😉 “What makes me happy?” ME!!! I’m happy being me! I don’t place my happiness in someone else’s hands. My happiness is mine to own! And I create my own happiness! 😉

Just as “The Man in the Mirror” lyrics, I took a look at myself and then I made a CHANGE!     (A huge change if you asked me!) Little by little, I began discovering things about myself that I didn’t know! It’s clear to me now, that my purpose in life is to serve others; and, to share my knowledge and the things I’ve gone through. Steve Jobs said, “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” Am I crazy enough? I think so! 😉 That’s why I’m starting with me, the Woman in the Mirror!

“If you wanna make the world a better place.
Take a look at yourself and then make a CHANGE
Nancy Tiscareno – Bail Bonds


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