“Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”

I get asked the same question at least once a day, “Nancy, Why aren’t you married yet?”Or people who know I’ve been single for a while would say to me, “Any boyfriend yet?” It fascinates me to see how many are interested in my relationship status; so, I decided to write about it. 😉

I would say that out of all the men who approached me and asked me out on a date, around 80% of them are “police officers!”  It blows my mind every single time a cop approaches me and asks me out on a date because I’m very outspoken about how much I dislike cops! My friend Kelli told me a while ago, “Nancy, you have to be open to the possibility that perhaps you can meet a ‘nice’ cop out there; and, you might want to get to know him”. I think it has been very hard for me to get over all the betrayal, backstabbing and lies my ex-husband Javier (a police officer) was able to pulled off during our divorce just to hurt me. I associate every single police officer with Javier’s actions towards me; and, that makes me walk away from any man wearing a cop uniform. 

I know what you’re thinking, “But Nancy, just take a chance!” I have! I dated a LAPD officer in 2010; but, he was definitely not for me. And you’ll be surprised to find out, that I actually went out on a date with a deputy sheriff from Pitchess Detention Center. That means I went out with a LASD deputy!!! Uugghh! INSANE!!!! I can’t believe I did that!  I hate the Los Angeles Sheriffs Department!!!! But, you know what? The LASD deputies ask me out on dates all the time! I always tell them no, because I can’t trust anyone at the sheriffs department! I think at this point, it would be so embarrassing for me to show up at a family gathering or any other event, with a date or a boyfriend who’s a police officer. That’s why the whole Bail Bond Industry here in Southern California should be telling me “Thank You Nancy” because I’m not a “Badge Bunny” (female that goes out only with cops). Can you imagine how many bail bonds I’ll be writing if I dated cops? I’ll be the richest lady in town; and, a lot of bail bond companies would be out of business, that’s for sure! So, tell me: “Thank you!” 😉 

“But Nancy, you must be lonely?!” Uughh! Seriously! This question really pisses me off! Sometimes I don’t even have time to go to the bathroom; even less time to “think” about loneliness! The more time that I spend on my own; the more creative I get! Every single time that I’ve been in a relationship I neglect my projects because I’m spending time with the new person in my life. But, that means that I’m wasting valuable time for me or for my business in somebody else’s agenda! That’s another reason why I turn down almost 95% of the invitations for a date!

“When are you getting married? You’re not getting any younger!” What the fuck?! Hahahahahaha! Some people, man! If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all! But, since they keep asking me this question, I’m going to answer it! I’m not in a rush to get married! I really enjoy my single life. I was married for over 13 years and I have no desire to go back and being “someone’s wife” and share my thunder, I don’t think so! LOL!  I enjoy my freedom! I do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want! I don’t have to compromise with anyone; I don’t have to gather with someone else’s family for the holidays or special occasions. I don’t have to call anyone to check in. I’m completely free! Plus, I don’t have to put up with a dude, farting or snoring in my bed at night! LOL!

Then, I get all the “extremist Christian” people telling me, “You’ll get married Nancy; the ‘Lord’ has a plan for you” Yeah, your “Lord’s” plan is for me, NOT to get married! Uughh! When are they going to understand this? If the “Lord” was in control, I would be married by now; but, “He” is not! I control my own life!

A friend of mine told me just recently, “Nancy, You haven’t met a nice man because you’re not looking” And she’s right, I don’t go and “look” for a man! As if “looking for a man” is like going “car shopping” or “shoe shopping” I don’t want to settle with a “nice man”. I want to be with my soul mate! I believe in the energy of the Universe and that some souls have planned on meeting even before the actual people get to meet physically. It’s like a magic encounter; two people meeting serendipitously! Your whole senses go crazy! It’s happened to me twice already since I’ve been divorce. And those encounters have been so wonderful; I could even describe them to you! 

The first time this “magical encounter” happened to me, was in early 2011. I had just arrived at a retail store; I was walking in, when a man in line ready to pay looked at me and then he smiled with joy! His expression on his face was as if he was telling me, “There you are! I’m so happy I get to see you again!” His smile was captivating and I stood like a dumbass just staring at him! Hahahahahaha!!! My whole body was on fire! I’d never experienced something like it before! The heat between us was so intense as if both our bodies were connecting and communicating with energy! It was amazing! 

I then grabbed a shopping cart and began walking towards the furniture side of the store. I wasn’t staring at him anymore, LOL! But, I could still feel our energy! I began to sweat! My hands started shaking! And at the time, I asked myself, “What the fuck is going on with me?” I’m sure there were more people inside the store, but at the moment, it was only “him and I”. It was like in a movie scene, with chaos, noise and people around the store when all of the sudden the camera focuses on one thing that you were not expecting to see and you’re like WOW!!!!  Yeah, just like that, but in real life! LOL!

I kept on walking, but I couldn’t resist the temptation and I wanted to see if he was still looking at me. So, I looked back at the same area where he was at, and sure enough, he was still smiling at me! But this time, I could tell that he wanted to run towards me and hug me! And honestly, I wanted to run to him too!

I walked into the furniture area and I began to composed myself! Hahahahaha!!! I was like, “Wow! That was intense!” I was looking for a small table to put in my new office. I grabbed the price tag of an outrageously expensive table, when I heard a man’s voice saying, “Is that the real price?” I turned to see who had spoken to me, and it was him!!! The man with the gorgeous smile! His eyes were so clear and beautiful that I was able to see right through to his heart! Such a gentle and kind soul! I smiled at him and I think I was talking to him; but, all I remember from that moment is that I was thinking about Jim Carey in the movie Dumb and Dumber and the scene where he says, “I like you alot!” hahahahaha!!! Because that’s exactly what I wanted to say to this guy! LOL! 😛 

We introduced ourselves and at some point, we exchanged business cards. He invited me to an event the following day at his store and I told him that I might show up. We said goodbye and he left. I immediately sent a text to my friend Gildy and I wrote, “I just met the man of my dreams!”  😉

My relationship with Allen was one of the best relationships I’ve ever been in! Maybe the best! I was actually so surprised how quickly I felt in love with him! I wasn’t holding back and I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt either. It was so natural for me to say “I love you” and I didn’t freak out every time Allen said it to me! But, unfortunately we both wanted different things out of our relationship; and, we had to end it. At that time, I wanted to get married and have kids; and, Allen didn’t. Allen and I are still good friends today; and, we call each other once in a while just to catch up and see how we’re doing. And you’re probably wondering; yes, Allen is still single. He calls me “Darling”; I call him “Honey” 

The second time this crazy energizing connection happened to me was in 2012 on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. Once again, two people meeting serendipitously! I met someone who had a lot of potential; but, turned out to be a jerk at the end! Otherwise, it would have been a really awesome story to tell, about the way we met. (Blog worthy, you know). He could have been my co-pilot in my crazy “spaceship” I call life! LOL! I gave him so many chances because I never wanted to say, “What if” But, finally in early 2013, I gave up on him! His loss, not mine! The only thing I have left to say is: ((((NEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!!!!))))  

“What about sex? You must have ‘needs’” Fucking guys at the bar! They’ll say anything to get into my pants! Well first of all, my “needs” are none of your business! The fact that I’m not married or I’m not in a relationship doesn’t mean that I’m not having sex! Please! Sex is the easiest, fastest thing for me to get! I’m at a point in my life where I can approach a man, I tell him what I want to do with him; and at that point, who’s going to tell “me” no?
The next question is a bit weird for me still, I guess because I haven’t gotten used to it but, “Nancy, Are you gay?”  Well, not “yet” Hahahahaha!!! … Let’s just say that, “I’ve kissed a few women” and just as Katy Perry would sing, “I think I liked it” 😉

“You must be a good loner!” I’m actually an AWESOME loner! LOL! I’m not intimidated to show up at a party, event or place by myself. I have gone on vacations completely by myself. Dinner, movies, activities, concerts, plays, I do all those things by myself. I remember back in 2008, the Dodgers won their division series. The series was almost sold out, but I was still able to buy tickets. I was so excited and I called my sister and said, “I just got tickets for the first two Dodgers home games!”  My sister asked, “That’s cool! Who are you going with?” I said to her, “I’ll be going with 55 thousand other Dodgers fans!”   😉

“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” Some people need to get a life! Seriously! In 2011, I went to court to file my DBA (Doing Business As) for Super Bond Girl. I was in a rush and I remember running from the parking lot to the court building. Once inside the court, I saw a couple about to get married. She was wearing a white wedding gown and the groom a black suit. I waited in line until I was able to speak to the clerk. She gave me a number and told me to wait until they would call my name. As I was sitting in the lobby waiting, I saw two more couples coming in with their families, ready to get married too! I thought, “Wow, everybody wants to get married today!” I immediately checked the date on my phone and it read, “February 14” No wonder so many couples were getting married, it was Valentine’s Day!

I thought, “That’s so sweet, they are getting married on Valentine’s Day”; and then, I looked at the folder where I had all my paperwork for my DBA. I opened it and I saw the forms with my name on it; and I began to think, “These couples are committing to themselves today. They are excited about their love and the journey they’ll be embarking on together. And here I am, on Valentine’s Day, ready to commit and ‘marry’ my business” By the time I was in front of the county clerk, ready to sign my forms. I began to recite in my head, the last part of the wedding vows “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part” and then, I signed it!!! I celebrate every Valentines’ Day with joy and excitement! I think this year, I going to send myself flowers! 😉  

“Nancy, what do you want?” Honestly, I just want to be happy! And I’m happy being single. Recently, during a conversation with my friend Wendy, I told her, “I don’t think I’ll ever get married again! I can’t do that! And even if I became engaged to someone; I know I’ll be a ‘Run Away Bride’” hahahahaha!!! I can totally picture it! Someone announcing to the guests at my wedding, “Nancy thanks you for attending; but, she decided to skip the ceremony and she’s already on her way to her Honeymoon all by herself!” hahahahahahaha!!!! Can you imagine the poor groom?! LOL!!! 😛 

The only reason that I considered marriage previously; was because I wanted to have more children and start a brand new family before I turned 40. I’m old fashion when it comes down to raising children. Kids should be raised by both parents (heterosexual or same sex) who are married and committed to each other. I think raising children is the only thing that I’m “conservative” about. LOL! But, I just turned 40, and I don’t have more children nor did I start a new family. So, what’s the point to get married now? I’ll get married; so, I can lose my “Freedom?” I don’t think so!!! Being married doesn’t “benefit” me at all!

So, there you have it! Hopefully people stop asking me, “Why aren’t you married, yet?” As if getting married is the “’one’ and ‘ultimate’ goal in someone’s life” There are so many things that I need to accomplish in this life time! And obviously, I don’t need a husband for that! 😉

Nancy Tiscareno – Super Bond Girl 

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