A really good friend of mine called me last week. She was stranded at the side of the road due to a flat tire; and, she asked if I could change it for her. I said yes, of course. It was around 8 pm, when I was driving to meet with my friend. I remember that I was so tired from my workday; and,
I was regretting telling my friend that I was going to help her. But, I’d already given her my word, so I had no other choice.
Once I got to the spot where she was stranded, she was so happy to see me. She hugged me and gave me a kiss; and, then she said that a man had offered to help her out. But, she told him that she already had someone on the way.
As we were changing the tire, we had such a good time talking about different anecdotes from our past. We made fun of each other and laughed out loud as we were working that I’d totally forgotten that I was even tired. Once we were done, we said goodbye, she went home and so did I.
As I was driving back home, I began to think about all the things that I’ve learned to do since I got divorced. Changing a flat tire is one of those things. I’m a member of AAA roadside assistance; but, I didn’t want to call them because I really wanted to show my friend that changing a flat tire is something really easy and she could do it too.
Before I got divorced, I was the kind of woman who didn’t even know what an odometer was; even though I was driving a car every single day. How embarrassing! I didn’t know how to use a lawn-mower or a weedwacker. I didn’t have any tools and I was completely clueless about how to fix things around the house!
It wasn’t until 2010 when I moved into a small house in Norco, CA that I began to challenge myself and learn new skills. First, I bought a really inexpensive set of tools from Walmart. There are not the best tools ever; but, they have saved my butt many times! My first project was when I purchased a washer and a dryer because I was the one who hooked them up.
I’d initially hired a man to mow the lawn; but, soon I realized that with what I was paying him, I could buy my own lawn-mower and cut the grass myself. So, I bought a lawn-mower and a weedwacker without knowing how to use either one! LOL! I think I did OK, the first time I used the lawn-mower; but, by the second time I had broken so many sprinkler heads, it was embarrassing! hahahahaha!!!
I then had to learn how to fix the sprinkler heads! Oh man! Plumbing is a bitch! Just saying! LOL! I went to my local Home Depot so many times, that the employees there would see me and ask, “Hi Nancy! How are the kids? What did you break this time? Did you take a picture?” hahahahaha!!!!
One day, the lawn-mower was acting up; so, I read the manual and it said that it needed oil. I went and purchased the oil for the lawn-mower and poured it in the designated area. The problem was that I didn’t measure the oil before pouring it and I almost emptied the whole bottle. When I started the lawn-mower again, all of this stupid black smoke came from the bottom of the lawn-mower and next thing I know, I was covered up with a thin layer of fine oil. I went inside the house and once I saw myself in the mirror, I began to laughed my ass off because I looked as if someone had spray painted me black! hahahahahaha!!!!
And don’t even get me started about fixing stuff in the bathroom! Once, I had to replace the sink drain pipe, oh I changed it alright! But, I was throwing up too! hahahahaha!!! Gosh, that’s so disgusting!!!!
What I keep learning is really not to depend on a man. I’m capable of doing basically everything that a dude can do. All I have to do is think positive; and, I know I will succeed! It’s very simple! Of course I get many dudes who are skeptical when I tell them I’m going to do something! Like the guys at Pep Boys when I told them that I was going to change my own front break pads. They wanted to charge me $210 to do something I can do myself; and, the break pads only cost me $20. It was hard work; but, I did it!!! 😉
I’ve always been an extremely active woman; so, learning to do something that requires mind and body coordination gets me super excited!!!! I love snowboarding, wake-boarding, dirt bike-riding, skydiving! Whatever gives me an adrenaline rush and challenges me; that’s exactly what I want to do!
|Nancy Tiscareno – Super Bond Girl|
But, at the same time I can be passive and spend a whole weekend sometimes just writing. Whether it is material for this blog or legal paperwork or just simply tracking all my business expenses.
Another thing that is very important for me is to make time for my hobbies. I enjoy sewing to a level that I can’t even describe! I get so excited when I go to the store and buy material for one of my projects. Knowing that I’m walking out of the store with a piece of cloth that I’m going to be turning into a garment, or a gown, or curtains, or a costume is an adrenaline rush for me!
The other day, I was at my hair salon and one of the hairstylist there was complaining about her second husband who was abusive towards her. She mentioned that she wanted to get a divorce and then she said, “I need a man who can support me”. I was like, “What?!” I almost jumped out of the chair where I was sitting in, like in the fucking Exorcist! I told her, “You don’t ‘need’ a man! You have a job! You provide a service to others. You make people feel good by doing their hair. You’re beautiful! You have a brain, your body is complete, you’re bilingual! What are you missing? Nothing!!! You don’t ‘need’ a man!”. At this point I had everyone’s attention at the hair salon, “You ‘need’ someone to pay your bills, that’s what you just said! You’re capable to make your own money! And make as much money as you like!”
The problem with this lady is that she believes that she “needs” a man when in reality she doesn’t! The sad thing is that she got married the first time to a man that she thought she “needed”. Then she got a divorce; and, went and married a second man that she thought she “needed”. I know she’ll get divorce from the second husband. And I’m pretty sure that she’ll find a third man that she thinks she “needs” and this cycle is going to continue! I’ve seen it happen so many times!
That’s why I strive to learn something new everyday. Not only for myself; but, at the same time I’m teaching my daughters and other women that women are capable to do anything that we set our minds to! There’s no “need” for a man. I think that once you become an independent woman; then, you can decide if you “want” a man and not “need” a man. There’s a difference!